Pineapple Express Lane to Hell

So who puts pineapple on a supreme pizza anyway (Winco I'm looking at you)?  I know this is going to sound controversial and maybe a little bit racist but pineapple has no place in and amongst the other toppings. Pineapple needs to be a segregated topping.  If ever there was a form of segregation that needed to endure it is pizza topping segregation.   If that piece of pineapple on my supreme pizza slice was the Rosa Parks of pineapple, trying to break through barriers into a more equal role, I guess that makes me David freaking Duke because I hated it with a passion. Besides it's not racist, its fruitist and that's socially acceptable, as long as you're talking about literal fruits. I'm not saying pineapple can't be on pizza at all, or that pineapple doesn't get to come into the kitchen, all I'm saying is that when pineapple is on a pizza it better be very clear that it is a pineapple pizza.  Maybe ham can come to the party, too.  It doesn't get to be messing around mixing with all the other toppings and hiding under the bell pepper. That's just not right. I mean, what's next? If we don't draw the line on pineapple then who knows what other ingredients are going to sneak into the pizza? Next thing you know someone's sticking duck on a pizza. Then it will be Philly cheese steak, peanut butter, and ice cream, and then one day someone will walk into a Pizza Hut and they're going to ask for a pizza, and when asked what they want, they'll say how about pizza and the universe will implode and an alternate universe will spring into being in which pizza never existed. The end. Boom!