Have you ever noticed that people say “I read somewhere” when what they really mean is “at some point I heard someone say something interesting and I am about to lay claim to it myself without actually having done any of the research or fact checking.”  It’s just an abbreviation, I guess.  I say this with as little mockery as I can because, while I may not have invented this practice, I regularly pirate the intellectual property of whoever did.  It’s like I can’t stop myself.  It’s just so easy to say that I read something somewhere than to go into an actual explanation of what I heard on which quasi-educational channel (future blog topic by the way) or from which person and when.  I’ll be honest, if my brain were a computer, it would be a little shy of ram.  By the time I got through the complete introduction of where it is I got a given interesting tidbit, I’d forget the tidbit. Plus, who wants to sit through all that for a five second factoid about earwax or the psychology of honey bees.  It’s just easier to have a social convention that you can tell a lie if there’s intriguing trivia on the way.  It does make me feel bad for people who really do spend a lot of time reading so much interesting bits of informational flotsam that they can’t quite remember which one went where.  They utter that infamous phrase and their audience rolls their eyes as if to say “yeah right pants-o flame-o! just gimme the brain candy!”  and that is what those trivial facts are. Non-nutritious sweets.  No one was ever so impressed with party-trivia to change their vocation or goals in life.  “You’ll never guess what some guy at the church social told me about octopus eye-balls and their ratio to their body mass! I’m not wasting another second of my life on IT, I’m becoming a marine biologist!”  You see what I mean about losing my train of thought? Where was i?

                Dreams!  So I said all that to tell you this.  Someone told me they “read somewhere” that half of all people dream in black and white.  Then I realized that I’d never met anyone who dreamt in black and white.  Then I read somewhere (roll your eyes all you want I actually read it) that the study behind that piece of information was done at a time when we were transitioning from black and white to color TV as a nation and the ratio was about even.  So people dreamt what they saw.  That makes complete sense as most of my dreams have mouse pointers and consist of montages of guys getting kicked in the crotch, laughing babies, super cute kittens, and star wars fan films.  My normal dreams also have annoying banner ads for more pornish versions of those dreams.  I avoid those…mostly.  Give me a break. Every once in a while my id crawls out with the impulse control of a 3-year old peaking over the edge of the desk and grabbing the mouse CLICKCLICKCLICKETY.  Those are the days that I wish that my dreams had filtering software.  I’ve been having another series of dreams involving what I watch lately about rednecks, alligators, and space jesus.  More on that next time.

prayer requests

Don’t feel much like arguing today.  I was on the way home from the hospital visiting my grandpa. He’s stable and resting, they’re doing tests, he might have a staph infection.  So I decide to stop and get food at the drive thru, and this young man is there.  He wasn’t the typical guy with a cardboard sign, if fact he was startlingly honest. He told me that he had just got out prison a little while back and he was just hoping to get food and a room and maybe get high. I figured I could handle the food part since I was in the drive thru anyway.  I got the combo meal he said sounded good and talked a little with him.  I’ll be honest; part of my mind was still back at the emergency room and also with my grandmother at home.  That might be part of the reason it took a little while for the conversation to sink in, for me to process what had just been said.  He told me that he lost everything:  his job, his fiancé, her family’s support, everything he cared about.  He said that he wanted to feel anything but what he was feeling just then even if it was only for a few hours.  His despair hit me hard.  He was just done with it, ready to stop caring at all what happens next. Screw it, I quit.  There wasn’t a thing I could do for him but give him some food and a couple bucks.  I didn’t know anyone hiring, and I certainly didn’t know any drug dealers.  I remember saying a few words about things getting better with time, but it sounded lame in retrospect. I remember thinking that I need to pray for this guy, but I didn’t tell him. I remember when I’ve been in bad situations, I felt less alone knowing someone was praying for me.  I’ve been kicking myself for not telling him I would pray for him, or even offering to pray with him right then.  Sometimes it’s enough to know someone else is paying even a little attention. I am angry with myself for not thinking to offer that to him.  But I will be praying.  If you think of it, if you could pray for this guy too I’d appreciate it. I’m ashamed to admit I don’t even know his name.

  Also my grandpa could use your prayers. He is comfortable and resting, but they are still doing tests and they may need to operate.

Epicly wimpy

"what if I fail? what if i'm not good enough? why was i cursed with these powers and this physique? do i really want mind bendingly awesome super powers? what if this outfit makes my butt look fat? what if mark jenkins from home-room doesn't like me as much as i like him? oh-my-gawd i could just die!"

when did super heroes become 13 year old girls? I just watched the green lantern and ryan reynolds spends the whole thing as a self obsessed, emotionally immature, morally ambivalent flake, and then in the last 5 minutes he decided that he was a hero after all. it was like the end of the wizard of oz. "lion: you had the courage you needed the whole time, and you Van Wild- uh, er, i mean green lantern: you had character and integrity all along.

i know that movie makers feel like they need to show the human-conflicted side of heroes so people can connect, but here's the thing. that is a hard thing to do and they are really bad at it. dark knight hit it pretty well, but then again all of the emotional issues were only there in bruce wayne and not batman. batman just showed up and took care of business.

most of the time when superheroes show their badly written, soft, squishy, emo-teen emotionality it's like my parents trying to discuss they're sex life with me. ew. no. why. stop it now.