Don’t feel much like arguing today. I was
on the way home from the hospital visiting my grandpa. He’s stable
and resting, they’re doing tests, he might have a staph infection. So I decide to stop and get food at the drive
thru, and this young man is there. He wasn’t
the typical guy with a cardboard sign, if fact he was startlingly honest. He told
me that he had just got out prison a little while back and he was just hoping
to get food and a room and maybe get high. I figured I could handle the food
part since I was in the drive thru anyway.
I got the combo meal he said sounded good and talked a little with
him. I’ll be honest; part of my mind was
still back at the emergency room and also with my grandmother at home. That might be part of the reason it took a
little while for the conversation to sink in, for me to process what had just
been said. He told me that he lost
everything: his job, his fiancé, her
family’s support, everything he cared about.
He said that he wanted to feel anything but what he was feeling just then even if it was only for a few hours.
His despair hit me hard. He was
just done with it, ready to stop caring at all what happens next. Screw it, I quit.
There wasn’t a thing I could do for him
but give him some food and a couple bucks.
I didn’t know anyone hiring, and I certainly didn’t know any drug
dealers. I remember saying a few words
about things getting better with time, but it sounded lame in retrospect. I remember
thinking that I need to pray for this guy, but I didn’t tell him. I remember
when I’ve been in bad situations, I felt less alone knowing someone was praying
for me. I’ve been kicking myself for not
telling him I would pray for him, or even offering to pray with him right then. Sometimes it’s enough to know someone else is
paying even a little attention. I am angry with myself for not thinking to
offer that to him. But I will be
praying. If you think of it, if you
could pray for this guy too I’d appreciate it. I’m ashamed to admit I don’t
even know his name.
Also my grandpa
could use your prayers. He is comfortable and resting, but they are still doing
tests and they may need to operate.
